NYC Therapy and Coaching in Manhattan
Psychotherapy and counseling with your needs in mind.



5 Types of Toxic Relationships To Look Out For

Relationships can be a challenge to navigate, and often, the longer we’ve known someone, the harder it can be to see when one has become a toxic presence in our lives.

Most people often hold onto unhappy relationships in the name of loyalty, meanwhile one of parties may be suffering. While understanding how to communicate assertively and compassionately, compromise, and work things out are critical life skills, sometimes we need to learn how to simply let go of relationships that have run their course and no longer serves us.

Here are five different signs of toxic personalities you may consider releasing from your life.

Toxic Personality #1: Negative/Pessimistic people

Sometimes the people that we love the most can bring the most negativity into our lives. If you know in your heart that your partner, loved one, or friend is weighing you down with their negative energy, it is important to distance yourself from them. You can love someone from a distance if you feel that they are no longer contributing to your life in a positive way. Remember, if someone is not contributing to your happiness by bringing you peace, clarity, or support, they are merely distracting you from reaching your next level and it may be time to let them go.

Toxic Personality #2:  Hypercritical people

Constructive criticism can be helpful if you want to grow and evolve. And we want a healthy amount of accountability within our relationships in order to live with integrity. However, if you find yourself receiving more judgement than support, it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. Criticism should always be constructive, not badgering, obsessive, or abusive. How do you recognize the difference between constructive critique and judgement? Pay attention to the way you feel. Do you feel supported and encouraged, or do you feel nit-picked and belittled? If there is a presence in your life that seems to exist solely to point out your flaws, it’s time to remove that presence from your environment.

Toxic Personality #3: Apathetic people

While it is important to beware of people who are hyper-critical, it is also crucial to watch out for those who are apathetic. You don’t want to invest your care or time into someone who doesn’t make an effort to reciprocate. If you sense that your partner isn’t making time for your relationship, doesn’t bother to work through disagreements, or has to be reminded a million times of your needs, they may not care enough to make you a priority. In this case, it might be best to say goodbye and find someone who is excited to have you around.

Toxic Personality #4: People with a victim-mentality

Some people grow very attached to the victim-mentality, which is essentially the notion that life is against them, they are cursed, damned, or permanently damaged in some way. Even when life deals you a bad hand, it is critical to be able to cling to hope, and channel that energy in a positive direction. If you find yourself attached to someone who is unready to let go of their victim-mentality, sadly, they may only be a detriment to your own forward progress. You cannot force someone to stand up or demand better for themselves, so the best thing to do may be to part ways and wish them continued strength in their individual journey.

Toxic Personality #5: Closed-Minded people

Finally, there are people who are simply unwilling to be flexible in their perception or navigation of the world. They adhere closely to their own ideas, even when they’re not necessarily the healthiest or most effective. Close-minded people will reject your attempts to offer support, guidance, or suggestions because their ego is on a constant mission to protect itself, and it will defend that inflated sense of superiority fiercely and bitterly. With close-minded people, it is impossible to reach a point of compromise, and the best thing to do is to move on.

Just because someone exhibits toxic behavior, it doesn’t mean they are a bad person. It does, however, mean that they are not vibrating at a high enough frequency to contribute to your life and happiness in any sustainable way. Leaving people behind may hurt deeply at first, but in the long run, learning to let go of toxic relationships is the healthiest move you can make for yourself.

Remember, you are allowed to leave when relationships no longer feel healthy.  

Are you struggling to leave a toxic relationship? Do you need help identifying and remedying your own toxic behaviors? Call Lucas Saiter today at 646.506.3832.

Lucas Saiter is a counselor in Manhattan. He provides therapy for anxiety, depression, and trauma, as well as relationship and intimacy issues to help individuals take control of their life and make meaningful change. If you are struggling with intimacy issues in your interpersonal relationships, contact Lucas Saiter today for a complimentary consultation.